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Taking Care of your Bridesmaids

If you have ever been in a wedding party you can easily understand that it can be a very expensive commitment. Asking your friends and relatives to be in that inner circle of your festivities requires much consideration by the wedding couple. It is not a given that they will be able to afford the dress, shoes, presents, travel, hotel rooms, missed work and the extra monetary requirements needed to throwing a bridal showers or stagettes.

Here are eight ‘bridesmaid’ points a bride should consider to make the experience enjoyable for everyone.

1. Know your expectations of your maid of honor and your bridesmaids before asking them to be in your wedding party.

Are you expecting them to help you address wedding invites, prepare wedding table tops, decorate, shop for your day-of attire, throw you a shower, or /and attend a number of other pre-wedding events? Or are you just wanting them to show up on your wedding day with the dress you have chosen for them?

2. Have a discussion with your chosen bridesmaids about the role you want them to play in your preparations and big day.

You cannot assume your bridesmaids are eager to pull out their wallet for you wedding fantasies. Know their limitations. It is often very hard on someone who feels they are trapped in a situation that will set them back financially.

3. Be prepared to purchase their dresses or cover even a portion of the cost.

Some brides go out of their way to find bridesmaid dresses that can be worn on other occasions. This only works if the dress suits each bridesmaid’s taste. Good intentions do no always equal perfect results.

4. The bride should cover the cost of professional hair and makeup sessions on the day of the wedding.

If there are appointments made before the big day for purposes of trying hair styles for the wedding, these appointments are also covered by the bride.

5. Keep the experience drama-free as much as possible.

Being the wedding diva is no fun for anyone. Think of yourself as being honored that your friends are part of your big day—this will help when you find yourself turning into Bridezila. Never tell anyone what to do, always ‘ask’ them.

6. Be organized.

The more organized a wedding party is the more that party will hold it together when things go wrong.

7. It is customary that brides and grooms give their attendants a thank you gift.

Be sure to give them a gift that you know they will like. The gift should be anywhere between $75 and $125.

8. Order food on the big day.

On wedding day, if your attendants are gathering earlier in the day, make sure you have breakfast and/or lunch on hand. Consider ordering lunch in to make things easy. This will also make sure you eat as well!


Jeannie Vaage, Etiquette Consultant, VIP Protocol
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